Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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