Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Randomize
