he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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