Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
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