im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Randomize
