Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
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