She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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