Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
