Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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