ugly people sure do ruin things
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
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