hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
