Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
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gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
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Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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