yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
