I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
