And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3pm strippers are depressing
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize