bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
