She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
