If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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