5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
