Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
