I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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