Just mADE A PArabola og urine
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
