I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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