He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
