I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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