please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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