did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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