i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
