Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
