I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize