Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
