How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I wear drunk well.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
