I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
