she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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