remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Randomize
