bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
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I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize