JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize