in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
