Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
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I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
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That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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