see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize