Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
