We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
