No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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