I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
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