If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
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