My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
she smelled like a LAN party
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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