ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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