Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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