i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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