By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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