So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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