you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
