I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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