I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
