so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize