uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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