She announced her abortion via fbk
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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