my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
