I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
