Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
