i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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