you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
