maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize