i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
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jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
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my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.