Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Who died my cat blue again?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates