Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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