they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now