I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
