ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
