we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
