I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
