Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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