As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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