I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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