bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize